FINALLY!!!

We weren't expecting to hear this news until mid April, but here it is...

 The adoption is final!!

Even though this is a BIG day in our family, it still doesn't change much.  From the day he moved in our home last summer, we considered him part of our family.  Now we just have the paperwork to prove that!

It may seem funny or odd to the rest of you but there are two things that make me most happy now that it's official:

1. No more paperwork!!  We had to fill out a daily grid that tracked his behavior and experiences relating to his goals.  We filled out daily paperwork for his medication.  We filled out a monthly list of contacts.  We filled out a monthly list of doctors or therapist visits, activities we took him on (at least 3 were required each month for the type of care he's in), and the date we had a fire drill.  I understand why we had to do this, but it was still annoying to keep up with.
2. More freedom!!  Only our approved support people could be with him without my husband or I present.  Our wonderful neighbors agreed to be support people (they didn't know what they got themselves into!) as well as my parents.  I can't imagine getting through this process without having those support people!  Now that we have more freedom, I can leave him with friends of our family too and that's a HUGE help!

 When he got home from school today, I told him the exciting news... As we had thought, his reaction was minimal and he just wanted to play some Wii!  I had to actually show him the adoption decree stating his new name!  Thankfully, he already had a therapist appointment scheduled for this afternoon so they can talk and help him process this new concept of adoption.

We had already planned on having take out for dinner tonight, so we are adding a special candy treat to that and having a small celebration!  A friend of mine is going to make us a special cake next week.  He also gets his traditional Friday bubble bath tonight, he can play Wii and on his IPod and can stay up just a little bit late as a special time to mark this special day.

So, now we are officially a family of FIVE!  Sure, we've lived like this for almost 9 months, but there's something a little different today. 


 

Getting Closer...

I got an email the other day from our adoption social worker that this long process is soon coming to an end.  The word from the clerk is that they will mail our adoption decree the beginning of April!

From the moment he moved into our home last July, he has been a member of our family.  He calls us "Mommy" and "Daddy" and refers to the teenagers as his brother and sister.  He even argues with us all as if he's been in our family for years!  But his last name is different than ours and that is what this decree will change.

It has been a long time in coming.

We were told we could file for adoption in early October, except we were waiting on other people to get their paperwork in order and that didn't happen until early January.

Then when we filed, there were problems with how the paperwork was filled out (not on our end) so the process was delayed while those things were corrected.

It's a 30-90 day process and when it's all over, I think we will hit over 80 days... With the way things sometimes go for us, that was expected by us even when no one else thought it would happen that way.

By the time we have the decree in our hand, it will have been 2 years from when we first made the phone call saying we were interested in adoption through foster care.  To some, that may seem like a long time, but it really isn't.  There were countless hours of training (and we have more to go to keep our foster care license current!), homestudy visits and meetings. 

It was actually pretty fast in the adoption world because from the day we submitted our list of children we were interested in learning more about until our first meeting about our soon to be son, it was only 6 weeks!  

From the day he moved into our house until the day the adoption is final will be right around 9 months... Just like a regular birth!

We plan on having a small family celebration once that decree is in our hand... Some take out from a favorite place and a cake that my friend is going to make that will show our new family.

I'm sure some of you are wondering if we're going to do this again.  And I can give my answer with great confidence.... MAYBE!  I have my eye on a young boy on the website, but I'm afraid that with the uncertainty of the healing of my broken foot, we won't be able to pursue anything right now.  So, who knows.... maybe later this year?  Maybe next year?  Maybe never.... God only knows at this point.  We do hope to do some respite care (taking care of someone else's foster child for a short period of time) and maybe even foster again.

So, what will I miss from this process?

• Our wonderful therapeutic and adoption social workers.... We have laughed together and they have been with me through pneumonia and a broken foot...

What will I not miss?

• Paperwork!  Oh my goodness, just when you think the pre-placement paperwork is over, there's the therapeutic paperwork!  In our state, there are 2 levels of foster care- family and therapeutic.  You get different amounts of reimbursement and so there are different levels of work involved.  With therapeutic care, there is daily medication paperwork, daily behavior paperwork, monthly contacts and monthly information, including what activities you have included the child in.  I will NOT miss this aspect of things!
• Asking permission to give OTC meds, take him out of state, etc.  I understand WHY we have to do this, but it's still a pain to have to defer to others who may not care what our choices or plans are.  Thankfully, his worker has been very accomodating.
• Training, training, and.... MORE training!  I also understand the need for training, but at some point you realize they're saying the same thing over and over again...

 We're looking forward to that day when it is all official!

 

It's Been Awhile

It's been over 3 weeks since I blogged.

There has been so much going on, but yet nothing much.

My foot is still broken and I still can't drive. 

We are still waiting for the adoption paperwork to be processed and finalized.

I've finally healed enough to be able to get around better.  I'm trying to make the transition to using only one crutch around the house so that frees up one hand to be able to carry things.  It feels great to not always have to rely on others to bring me even a drink of water or the phone!  We'll hear more about how the bone is actually healing at my appointment next week.  Apparently I have a bad enough break that I was a candidate for surgery the week after it happened.  When I got my 2nd xray a week later, the Orthopedist told me that if the break was in a slightly different place, I'd need surgery NOW... Oh my goodness, I am thankful that was not the case!  The doctor will see how I've healed after 12 weeks and decide if I need surgery to put a screw or pin in and I'm really hoping that's not the case because that's almost the last thing I want to do this summer!

We had a particularly busy week with lots of appointments, meetings, church and night shift.  And not just regular night shift, but the early one where my husband has to be ready no later than 6pm.  Of course, he is usually ready around 5:45.  There's nothing like cooking dinner at 4pm (well, cooking for me these days is sitting on the bar stool chopping vegetables) to eat at 5pm and then showering and getting your jammies on at 5:30 because you can't get in and out of the shower yourself.  Life could be worse of course, so it's important to keep things in perspective.

So, I am learning that the things we think are so important in our schedule aren't always.  If the house doesn't get a good cleaning every week, your family will survive.  If all you can do is lay in bed and then move to sit on the couch and then back to your bed again, do it with a good attitude.  If God sits you on your rear for a few weeks, you better not try to fight it and instead make the best of it!