It's That Time of Year!

Spring is here and with it means....

• Warmer temperatures
• A growing garden
• More time outside
• Homeschool planning!!

I have to admit.... I actually like planning for homeschool better than I like teaching!

So, these last 2 years have been nice as my teenagers have transitioned to a time where they do their schoolwork completely on their own.  I answer questions and I grade tests and papers.

I LOVE it!

Life is going to change next year!  We will be homeschooling our youngest, who has been in public school his entire life.

We couldn't homeschool him until our adoption was final and since that didn't happen until late March and school is out in June, we decided to leave him in public school for the rest of this school year.

W has some learning issues, so that is bringing a perspective into our homeschool that I've never dealt with before.  My teens were very easy to plan for and they could do a lot of work on their own or with minimal intervention on my part, even in elementary school.

It's going to be quite the learning experience on my part.

We've realized during W's spring break that he has a difficult time even playing on his own!  He wants someone to play with him all the time... He doesn't even respond well to ideas of what he can play with.  Seeing all of that developing last week, even our summer break is going to be "interesting".

I already know we'll be playing lots of games, doing a lot of reading, and having short blocks of instructional time.

I also know that this will be labor intensive on my part....  I'm going to be exhausted!

So, why would I choose to tire myself out, have little to no "me" time in order to homeschool a child with some learning issues?  Because I've seen what public school has done for him.  And I'm not impressed.

Now before you think I'm going to bash all public schools, teachers and parent who send their kids to public school, think again!  All I'm saying is that for THIS child and THIS situation, homeschooling is the way to go.  

I hope to address some character issues, increase our family bonding, improve his academic learning by teaching him according to his learning style and ability, and teach him important life skills.

We learned already this past year that for him, getting home at 4pm and trying to address all of the above issues is impossible.  So, while I enjoyed the quiet day time of this past year, I'm giving it all up to homeschool a child that is so very different from my teenagers.

Even planning is harder.  It's overwhelming.  Internet searches aren't even very helpful.

So, I've got a school schedule of 5-7 weeks of school and 1 week off... we can use that week off to regroup, if necessary, sleep late, take a field trip, do nothing....

I've got a basic schedule of things I want to do with W, but I'm sure that will change as I look toward the details of his day.

You may think I've got plenty of time to get this planning done, but I really don't.  With the chance of me having foot surgery still there, I need to get things done earlier than normal in case I lose weeks of prep time.  My teens are going on a mission trip in June and I'll also need to get them ready for that.  

I like to have all my prep and purchases done by the end of June and this year, it may even have to be done by the end of May.  So, time is ticking and I'm not ready yet!

  

 

It's Been Awhile

It's been over 3 weeks since I blogged.

There has been so much going on, but yet nothing much.

My foot is still broken and I still can't drive. 

We are still waiting for the adoption paperwork to be processed and finalized.

I've finally healed enough to be able to get around better.  I'm trying to make the transition to using only one crutch around the house so that frees up one hand to be able to carry things.  It feels great to not always have to rely on others to bring me even a drink of water or the phone!  We'll hear more about how the bone is actually healing at my appointment next week.  Apparently I have a bad enough break that I was a candidate for surgery the week after it happened.  When I got my 2nd xray a week later, the Orthopedist told me that if the break was in a slightly different place, I'd need surgery NOW... Oh my goodness, I am thankful that was not the case!  The doctor will see how I've healed after 12 weeks and decide if I need surgery to put a screw or pin in and I'm really hoping that's not the case because that's almost the last thing I want to do this summer!

We had a particularly busy week with lots of appointments, meetings, church and night shift.  And not just regular night shift, but the early one where my husband has to be ready no later than 6pm.  Of course, he is usually ready around 5:45.  There's nothing like cooking dinner at 4pm (well, cooking for me these days is sitting on the bar stool chopping vegetables) to eat at 5pm and then showering and getting your jammies on at 5:30 because you can't get in and out of the shower yourself.  Life could be worse of course, so it's important to keep things in perspective.

So, I am learning that the things we think are so important in our schedule aren't always.  If the house doesn't get a good cleaning every week, your family will survive.  If all you can do is lay in bed and then move to sit on the couch and then back to your bed again, do it with a good attitude.  If God sits you on your rear for a few weeks, you better not try to fight it and instead make the best of it!

 

A Change in Plans

I had it all planned out...

I was going to work really hard last week getting a ton of things done, so that my daughter and I could go out of state to help a relative who is going through a health issue.  Then we'd meet my husband and the boys for a school trip/family vacation.

But that's not how it all turned out!

I'm not an outdoors kind of person.  I do like to hike, but we don't get to do that much.  If I have the choice between reading a book inside or doing almost anything outside, you'll find me snuggled up on my couch with my book.

But last Tuesday was such a beautiful day that I decided to kick the soccer ball around with the kids after our youngest got home from school.

I was standing on the back steps and not paying attention as I turned to walk down... That was a bad choice, to say the least!

I missed a step, or landed wrong, or something...  I ended up breaking my foot.  I was hoping it would be a simple break, but it turns out that it was a pretty bad one.  Apparently, the bone broke in 2 places.  The good news is that I am in a boot and not a cast.  

So, for the past week, I've been home bound and bed/couch bound.  I've been instructed by the doctor to keep all weight off my foot and I've been following those orders.  Perhaps I've been overdoing it on the doing nothing, but I want the bones to heal.  

I'm forbidden from driving for SIX weeks.  After 12 weeks, the doctor will see if I need surgery to put in a screw.  That is absolutely NOT in my plans for the summer, so that's why I'm doing a lot of nothing.

So far, I've watched almost 2 seasons of Downton Abbey.  I've played on my Kindle Fire.  I've folded a load of laundry (mostly socks and underwear).  I've organized our taxes.  And that's been spread out over 6 days!

I have no desire to read a book, to sit on the porch or to play any games.

It's not even easy to just quickly use the bathroom.

Showering and getting ready for bed at night is exhausting.

Getting dressed and ready in the morning makes me want a nap when I'm done.

Normally, I'm not good at following doctor's orders.  About 7 years ago, I had a stress fracture in my foot.  My doctor told me to use my crutches and rest it a lot and it would heal in about 6 weeks.  I did none of those things and it was probably 12 weeks before it felt completely better.  So, that's why I'm resting this time around.

I'm not a person who is normally on the go every minute, but I do keep busy during the day getting stuff done.  I am a homebody and don't like the weeks where I have to be out every day.

But being able to do NOTHING and go NOWHERE is getting pretty frustrating!

My family has been helpful and my friends have been checking in on me and offering their help.

And in the end, compared to health issues far worse than mine, I really have nothing to complain about.  I should just sit and enjoy this time to rest, read a book, play a game with the kids, and quit my whining.

I'll let you know how that goes!

 

2012- A Review of Our Year

This is the time of year where many people look back at what has happened over the year and then they look ahead to the coming year....

This blog post will be a review of 2012 and in a few days I will post a look at 2013, including some new goals I have...

Here are some highlights for our family in 2012!

1. If I had to sum up our year with only one word, it would be... Adoption!  It consumed our time and energy from the 1st of January until the 31st of December.  We made many trips to meet the boy who would become the newest member of our family, logged many hours and miles in our van to transport for our weekend visits, we experienced many meetings and lots of paperwork and rules.  But we wouldn't trade it for anything!  Not only did we experience the process of adoption, we were also able to see that process in the lives of at least 4 of our friends!  What a vivid example of what God did for us when He adopted us as His children through Jesus' death and resurrection!
2. A phrase that makes me think of 2012 is new friends!  Through a variety of circumstances, I've made some new friends and have enjoyed getting to know them.  It's nice to have people to support you and for you to rely on, to laugh and have fun with, and to support and encourage.
3. Another thing I learned this year, whether through my own experiences or through my friends, is trust!  Here's the important part... That trust needs to be in God, not in people.  People WILL let you down and disappoint.  God is ALWAYS faithful and His ways are ALWAYS the best.  So whether you're dealing with marriage problems, health issues, needing provision, having family or children issues, problems at work... Nothing is too big for God to handle!
4. Support is another word that sums up our year.  I have a great support system in my homeschool group, a core group of close friends, and some other ladies that live the LEO life like we do and understand those stresses on a marriage and family.
5. Last but not least, Life is hard!  God NEVER promised us that we'd have enough money, no sickness or no hard times.  In fact, He did promise us that we WILL experience trials of many kinds.  The good news is that whether life is easy or life is hard, God IS always with us!

 

How NOT To Spend Your Week!

We made it through October fairly well, considering the CRAZY schedule we had...  Why did I assume November would be uneventful?

I was happy to spend some time last Monday afternoon with a good friend who was helping me redecorate my dining room.  We had lots of fun shopping and then sewing and decorating and the rest of our families joined us at our house for dinner that night.  The dining room, foyer and living room look GREAT and we have some more plans for a few things that are left in the dining room as well as work on the master bedroom.

Tuesday my husband took off work.  We at first had thought of heading downtown for a little field trip but we were all slow moving that morning so we decided instead to get milkshakes at Chick Fil A (Peppermint Chocolate Chip- YUM!) and run a bunch of errands.

I woke up that morning with a little tickle in my throat but didn't think anything of it.  Sometime in the afternoon I started feeling rundown and by the time we got home near dinner, I had a fever.

I stayed in bed for days feeling absolutely ROTTEN!  My fever got as high as 103.3 and along with that came the aches and chills.  I felt just absolutely terrible.

I had a meeting regarding foster care and adoption in my home Thursday afternoon that could NOT be rescheduled, so I managed to shower and get ready (in some sweats and the entire process took hours) and sat in my chair to get the meeting done. 

We tried to get some medical care Thursday night.  One nearby Urgent Care had a 2 hour wait.  At the second Urgent Care, we learned that apparently where I live, you do NOT need an ID to vote, but you need one to receive medical care!  Who knew!  They wouldn't even let my husband show his id and insurance card and sign something accepting responsibility.  No, instead they rudely told me they couldn't see me and we left.  Apparently the lady we spoke to is often rude, as the security guard told us when we left.  We are following up with a complaint.  I can understand the rule, but I can NOT understand treating someone in such a rude and nasty way!

So, we tried again on Friday morning.  The CVS Minute Clinic had a 1 hour wait so we went back to the first Urgent Care we tried the night before (NOT the rude place, we will NEVER go back there!).  We walked in, filled out paperwork and were in a room very quickly.  After an examination and chest xray, we had a diagnosis of Pneumonia!

You wouldn't think someone would be happy about having Pneumonia, but with how badly I had felt the previous 3 days, I was "happy" to learn that there was in fact something wrong and a way to fix it!

I had some side effects from the antibiotic the first day- a horrible pounding headache for hours and trouble sleeping.  Thankfully, I also had a cough medicine with codeine for the nighttime so I was able to sleep.  I spent the weekend on the couch and in the bed, resting up for the coming week.  I surely need to get caught up on some things and prepare for a Fun Family Weekend coming up!

My older kids took very good care of me on Wednesday while my husband had to work.  They kept the house in order and gave me some peace and quiet.  My daughter helped the youngest before and after school, which was a HUGE help.  My neighbor, who usually does the afternoon carpool was able to take the boys to school in the morning so I didn't have to get out of bed.  My parents watched the kids during our failed attempt at medical care on Thursday night, took the kids out on Saturday while my husband worked so that I could rest AND brought us dinner that night.  My husband was also a BIG help in cooking, cleaning and running errands.  I know he did NOT enjoy doing all of that, but it was all worth it when I ventured out of my room Saturday morning to a CLEAN kitchen!  :)

I was not able to exercise at all this past week but I did lose a few pounds from not eating.  I'm sure those will come back along with my appetite as I start to feel better.

I am so looking forward to feeling 100% and getting things done and spending time with my family.  I'm trying hard to NOT feel like I am behind on things.  Even though all I did from Tuesday night until Saturday was write the grocery list, attend the meeting in my house, go to the doctor and watch tv, I am confident that I can catch up next week and I'm thankful I don't have to put the house back together because my family took such great care of it while I was sick!

Same Old, Same Old....

It's been 2 weeks since I last posted...

I've been finding it hard to blog because it feels like we do the same thing every day and every week since September started...

Public school, homeschool, soccer, regular shift for my husband, off duty work for him too, soccer, homework, church, meetings, appointments....

Repeat... And again...

You get the idea...

How exciting can that be to read about?

With all of those things going on each week, things can get a little crazy around here.  There have been periods of time due to my husband's schedule where we haven't seen him for more than 30 minutes in over 48 hours.  And we all survived!  It was a good preview of what October could be once he starts working off duty at our State Fair.

To ADD to the craziness of the above list of things going on in our family in the fall, we add several more things in October: 2 soccer tournaments, our anniversary, and our youngest's birthday (and first with our family...and during the Fair).

But this schedule is really not that much different from many other families.  We are ALL busy...

EVERY fall our family experiences this same craziness...

EVERY winter we have Thanksgiving, Christmas, 2 kids' birthdays and then my husband's birthday...

EVERY spring we get a little break from the busy and look forward to finishing out the school year...

EVERY summer we get a little time to rest and plan for the upcoming school year...

And then there we go again...

I'm not complaining, REALLY I'm not!  

I LOVE soccer season, even though we rarely get to sit down to eat dinner together as a family.

I'm used to the off duty work that piles on in the fall for my husband.  He is at the point in his career where he has little opportunity to work off duty during the year, so we don't turn down the chance to work it in the fall, even if it does mean adding in an extra week's worth of work every month.

So, that is the routine, boring, same as last month update from our family!  And to be honest, I kind of like it this way!  ;)

 

 

First Week of School, Take 1!

Last week my older kids started their homeschool year.

It was quite the blur of a week.

Not only did we have something going on every day- soccer practice, soccer game, orthodontist appointment, doctor appointment, team meeting for foster care/adoption, hair appointment.... But my husband also was on night shift for half of the week!

I also did about an hour of school with our youngest, who will start public school later this month.

I am sitting here and typing and literally not remembering much of last week except that I feel like I didn't see my husband more than an hour total Weds-Fri.

Since my older kids are both in high school, they are very good at getting their work done independently.  

My oldest, who is in 11th grade, is finishing up his Algebra 2 as well as studying Chemistry, and is looking forward to Russian History next semester.

My 9th grader is finishing up Algebra 1 and starting Geometry, as well as studying Physical Science.

Both kids are also taking US History, Russian, Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace (for high schoolers) and will be writing research papers.

It should be an interesting year, that's for sure!

And so today we start another week where we have something(s) going on every afternoon- doctor appointments, soccer practice, soccer games, etc... This will be our life for the next 2 months so I better get used to it!

While it's busy, it's nothing new.  In 2 weeks when our youngest starts public school, that's when things will get CRAZY!  I don't know how we'll get homework done AND have any kind of time where he'll be able to see his dad for any length of time.  It won't happen on Saturdays as my husband works practically all of them from now until the end of November.  We'll definitely have to be deliberate and creative.  It's only for a season and we'll get through!

 

Testing, Testing...

Sure enough, we have been tested!

After about 3 weeks of all of us getting used to our new family of 5, we finally saw it.  An entire day of testing!  

I won't go into specifics on it, but none of it was horrible, it just was constant.  It was as if he was saying "Let's just see how much of it they can take and STILL love me!"

Thankfully, my husband was home from work and he was able to take care of it.  There are rules we have to follow on how we can and can't discipline and we do follow them.  Time Out and removal of privileges is working well and in reading back through his bio, it has also worked well in the past.  We also talk with him about proper behavior and why he needs to listen and obey.

We are all realizing just how much patience we will need to have during this adjustment period.  What I think is funny, is that I seem to be fairly patient and I would consider myself one of the least patient people in the family!  Perhaps it's because I've read and re-read enough of his history to understand his limitations.  I am constantly reminding my older children that they will have to be patient and will have to explain things many, many times...

We are making a few adjustments to our night time schedule to allow the older kids some time to re-group.  Bedtime for "W" has been moved earlier and this has worked well for all these last few days.  Now that he's eating and sleeping well, he needs to catch up on all the sleep he's lost in the past few years and he hasn't fought us at all (yet?) on this new bedtime.

"W" does like us reading his Day By Day Bible to him each night.  I have enjoyed my Read Through the Bible in a Year plan and his Bible goes through the entire Bible, but in a format that is easy for kids to understand.  It keeps Truth intact while allowing for kids to follow along well.  I think we'll be reading this Bible over and over again through the years!

 

Facebook "Break"

After several days on vacation with only Facebook access from my phone (and poor coverage so I really wasn't on much)... And with a long list of stuff to do the following week... And some much needed family time as we grew to a family of five...

I decided it was time for a break from Facebook...

It wasn't a complete break, just a serious cutback.

When I am home, it is SO easy to have Facebook up on the laptop.  But then I find myself lacking in self control and wasting countless hours on there.  This is one major reason I REFUSE to get on Pinterest... For me, it's just another way to waste time!

So, I had to have some accountability and semi-drastic measures.

Our Wi-Fi has very good internet security and parental controls (Open DNS- research it and give it a try- it's FREE!).  We have 2 teenagers, so internet security is a MUST!  I don't know if it's growing up in NY or having an LEO husband, but I'm over cautious when it comes to the internet.  That's why I don't post my husband or kids' names on my blog and why my Facebook page is tightly secure (or so I hope...).  My kids don't have Facebook and neither does my husband.  Sure, some might see that as being a "helicopter" parent, but I see it as keeping them from a lot of stuff they don't need to see quite yet.  Before they leave the house, they can have Facebook, but not when they're 14 and 16.  I don't care if your teens have a Facebook page, just PLEASE make sure their page is secure!  I can't tell you the teens that I am not friends with but I can see everything on their page!  If I can, then the pervert can too!  Protect your kids on the internet!

But back to the point....

I asked my husband to block Facebook on our Wi-Fi for the last week of June and he did.  Because my smartphone internet access runs off of Wi-Fi when we're home (to save my data plan), I didn't have Facebook access from my phone unless I turned Wi-Fi off.  Yes, I did that sometimes and I checked Facebook while I was out of the house, but I can tell you the time I spent on it was much reduced. 

And I have to say I survived and enjoyed it too!

So, my husband and I have a deal... 

When he's off of work, he'll block Facebook in Wi-Fi...

When he's working, I'll pick 1 or 2 days/nights that he will unblock it.

I'll still have limited access on my phone.

This plan will help me with the amount of time I spend on Facebook and the computer in general, and during a time when I need to focus my time elsewhere.   

Hopefully I'll learn some self control on my own, but until then, I like this plan!

It's Move In Day!

After over a year of active work, over 72 hours of classes, stacks of paperwork, a homestudy, a list of 20 children, a couple thousand miles on the car, many trips for pick up and drop off, 8 visits totaling over 30 days.....

It's MOVE IN DAY!

In some ways, this feels like it has taken a while... In other ways, it's been a short amount of time.  I know there are people who are waiting YEARS to adopt through foster care.  From the time we submitted our list of children we were interested in until the date of our first meeting about him, it was only 1 month.  That is pretty quick.

Then came the meetings and visits, too many to really count.

The visits were important in us getting to know him and in him getting to know us.  It was hard to give up so much time (a full day each week was spent in picking up and dropping off) in transportation, but it was worth it in the end to spend time together. 

Our schedule has been CRAZY during the past few months in trying to figure in these visits along with my husband's work schedule.  He doesn't have weekends off like many other people do.  He needed to take some days off in order to spend any time with us during each of the May weekend visits.  Thankfully, he has a lot of time he can use as well as some understanding supervisors who were willing to work with him to give him time with his new family.

It all comes down to today... It's our last trip 2 hours away to that Chick Fil A we have spent so much time at these past few months.  This time, it's forever.

My husband has taken a few hours off to be here when we get home. 

We have planned an easy dinner but one that he has enjoyed in the past: Chicken Quesdadillas, salad and homemade vanilla ice cream with crushed M&M's and Heath Bar on top.  We'll probably play some Wii (it will be too hot to play basketball) and he'll have 3 small gifts to open in celebration of him joining our family.

And then will start the adjustment period.  

We'll have lots of appointments to go to to get him established at his new doctors.

I'm curious to see how he'll be after about 2 weeks here.  Even with his longer visits with us, none were over 12 days.  I'm sure he'll have some sadness at missing his foster family, even while he's excited about being with us.

We've got some fun things planned for the summer... A day trip to the beach, swimming at friend's pools, going to the local museum, going to the movies, and more.

I've tried to not overschedule my days so that we have some time to spend together. Obviously, there are things we need to get done, but some things can wait while we have good family bonding time.


I won't be posting any pictures of "the boy" on Facebook because as of now he is our foster child and there are rules about those things.  I don't even know when or if I'll be able to post his name.  I'm already kind of secret about those things out here in blog-land...  So, just put up with us as you are able to hear some updates but really not experience it all like you might want to!


Continue to pray for our family as we bond together and as we need patience during this transition time!

Last visit!

We are only a few days away from the end of our LAST visit!

This visit will end up being 12 days and it has been a good visit overall.  "The boy" is still getting used to having a big brother and big sister who are on his side.  He is still getting used to our family and our crazy schedule.  He is still getting used to sharing a room.

We have seen improvements in every area and we are thankful for that.  We know that there is a strong chance that we will not face the tough issues until he actually moves in.

He still refers to his foster family as "mom" and "dad" and talks about getting to go "home" in a few days.  That is all to be expected because that is the life he's known for 3 years.

He also talks about his "new school" every time we drive past and he has been asking more questions about his teacher and when classes start and end....and if they will have a basketball to play with. 

During this visit, he has gotten the chance to meet more family and friends.  He is doing very well with all the new people. 

It will be a little strange to send him back to his foster home this week, but he needs those 10 days to spend with them.

I know there will be a transition time when he moves in....We're all already use to each other, so that's good.  But he will have to process that this is his home and I think that will be hard for him.  He will still be able to call his foster family a few nights of week, but that will become less frequent as he gets settled into our family.

On our end, we've all had to work on being patient in answering the many questions, reminding him about different things, and getting used to everything.   


We're looking forward to becoming a family of 5!

We Made It!

I'm a wimp....

You'd think I'd be used to not seeing my husband, with his crazy shift and off duty work....

He was gone for 12 days this spring with our son on a mission trip to Ukraine and my daughter and I did just fine.

But he was out of town for 5 days last week taking a class for work and that was enough for me!

I've said before I don't know how wives handle it when their husband travels for work....

I certainly don't know how a wife handles a military deployment.

I guess I've found my limit on what I'm able to handle.  I can do the crazy shift work- having dinner ready at 5pm one week and 7:30pm the next... Being quiet in the house to let him sleep after being awake for 24 hours... And whatever other crazy stuff that seems to happen each month.

But I can't handle the being gone for a week or more with little to no contact.

Sure, we talked briefly each day during his lunch break.  And we even got on Skype a few times in the evenings.  But it's just not the same.

So, I am glad he's home again and hopefully he won't have to travel again for another year!

 

Why Budget?

For some people, the very thought of the household budget makes them nervous.  But for me, I enjoy it.  In fact, I can usually complete our monthly budget in 10 minutes.


When we were first married, a monthly budget was an absolute necessity.  We were (and still are) a single income home with my husband working in law enforcement so you can imagine the sometimes meager amount we had to work with each month.

Fast forward 16 years and I honestly think budgeting is still a necessity for us.  Even though we are more flexible in how we budget and several of the category amounts have increased, I still like knowing what we spend in each category and how much we are able to put in savings each month.

I feel like we are somewhere in the middle of spending for our salary..... We have very basic cable, our home phone is dirt cheap, and we have no loans or credit card debt.  However, we have 4 cell phones (including two smartphones), a date night category (for my husband & the kids as well as for my husband & me!), two growing teens (clothes and food!) and are about to add a 3rd child to the family (more clothes and food!).   


I'm a firm believer that no matter what your income is, whether small or large, you need a budget.  There is no other way to know how your money is spent each month.  By creating a household budget, you know where you are wasting money, where you can cut back and where you are not spending enough.  You'll be able to save more and pay off debt.  

I know some people just don't enjoy creating a budget.  It is hard for me to motivate people to start budgeting.  I know the end result is worth the hassle of budgeting, but it is hard to get others to see that when it's simply something they don't enjoy doing......

This evening, I have the opportunity to talk to a group of women at the church we used to attend about budgeting and money saving tips.  It is my goal that the women take what they learn tonight and put even just one idea into practice in their homes and see if it is helpful in saving money.

I'm looking forward to tonight.... To seeing some familiar faces... To sharing a few things I've learned over the years... To facilitate questions and other ideas... And to share something that I am passionate about, no matter how weird that sounds to other people!  ;) 

Family Fun Day!

One thing I LOVE about Homeschooling is that we can set our school calendar.  So, since my birthday is in April, I always schedule our Spring Break for the week of my birthday.

Once I saw the weather forecast for last Monday, I knew what we needed to do.  No school, my husband was off of work, and the temperature was suppose to be in the mid 80's.... We were headed to the BEACH for the day!

We're close enough to the beach to make a day trip out of it.  We leave by 8:30am and return home around 11pm.  Since both my husband and I went to college very close to the beach we visit, we have a whole list of traditional places we go to every time we are there.

We start with lunch at our favorite beach restaurant....  Next is several hours on the beach, including a nice walk with my guy.... Then we go back to our college.... This time we included a visit with our former Criminal Justice professor.... It was nice making him feel old, now that we have 2 teenagers!  Next was a dinner stop at a place we frequented while in college.... And we followed it up with ice cream with our friends from college and their 3 kids.... 

We had to make a side trip to Target for some aloe for our sunburn.... (SHH, don't tell my mom we forgot to use our sunscreen!)  And then another stop for some coffee....

All in all, it was a great trip.... Some good family time together after a crazy few months.... And a wonderful way to begin my birthday week!

 

More Visits

Last week, "the boy" stayed with us for 4 days.  It went very well and we had no problems to report.  We did hear that he had a rough night back in his foster home on Saturday, saying he doesn't want to leave them.  Since no one has yet talked to him about living in our home and being adopted, we are realizing more and more than this little boy is much more perceptive than many people give him credit for.

He's coming back today for a 9 day visit.  Coming off of his reaction back at his foster home, it will be interesting to me to see how he does with us this time.  I think he's enjoying his time with us, but loves his foster parents.  And since no one has shared with him that he can still keep in contact with them when he lives here, I think he's scared.  Hopefully his therapist will be talking to him about this to help calm his fears.

We were able to learn even more about his likes and dislikes while he stayed with us.  It is easy to entertain this boy!  We won't have to try to "impress" him with trips and visits to different places, although we do have plans to take him to museums and other places our family enjoys.  But that will be just for fun, it won't be to try to convince him that we're a great family.  He enjoys being around the house and playing Nerf basketball (we'll be buying him his own once he makes the permanent transition to our house), playing with Matchbox cars (I'm glad we saved my son's cars and track from 10 years ago!) and playing on my IPod (and he's very good about giving it back when his time is up).

I'm particularly thrilled that my husband is off work this weekend.  He was suppose to be on night shift Friday and Saturday night, but due to a week long class next week, he took the weekend off so he wouldn't be working 12 days in a row.  I know our real life with "the boy" will include my husband working weekends, but they will be able to spend some time together over the weekend and that will be so helpful.  I have lunch plans with a friend on Saturday, so it will be good for my husband and all 3 kids to hang out together for a few hours and get some good bonding time.

What A Week!

I think we have lived through one of the strangest weeks we've had in this family in quite a long time!


Last Sunday started off great.... we went to Sunday School and church as a family, attended a mission trip meeting, and then ran some errands.  I was able to upgrade my phone to a smartphone (that actually works!  I had a horrible experience with my first smartphone a year ago) and I was enjoying my pretty new phone.  We came home with just enough time to grab something to eat before the kids and I headed back to church and my husband headed off to work. 


He was suppose to work 6pm-midnight but if I've learned nothing else these years, I've learned there's no such think as "suppose to".  He got home from work at 3am.


Monday was interesting too.  I started my morning by spilling some coffee on my laptop, causing it to completely shut off.  We tried drying it out and it still wouldn't turn on.  Unfortunately, my "tech" guy (my wonderful husband) was working a weird shift, noon-midnight, so he didn't have a chance to take a look at it.  So, I could check email and Facebook on my pretty new phone and I was happy.


Tuesday was normal enough.... We had an early dinner (1:30pm) and my husband headed to work at 3pm, hoping to be home by 3am.  Around 8:30pm, I got the phone call.  He had hit a deer.  He was fine, but the deer was dead.  So, he ended up coming home around 12:45am to unload all of the important stuff out of his car so he could bring it in to be repaired.  I thought it would be fun, since I was awake anyway, to go outside in the middle of the night to take a look at the damage.  Busted headlight, cracked bumper and a bunch of deer hair was able to be seen.... Nice... Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep until 3:45am when my husband was home and ready to sleep.


Wednesday was a blurr.  I don't remember much, which probably means nothing too bad happened.


Thursday was my husband's day off from work and he had plans to go to a friend's house to help with some stuff.  Instead, he ended up in a work meeting for a few hours that afternoon.  The kids and I decided to go and help instead.  Later that evening, we had dinner at the house of some longtime friends of ours.  My husband and I didn't realize until around 12:45am that we had full caffeine coffee after 9pm that night and sleep wasn't happening for us just yet!  Two nights in one week to get to sleep after 1am is tough when you're our age!


Friday is one of my favorite days of the week.  The kids and I were able to go to a nearby park with our Homeschool group to pass out water bottles with some Easter related Scripture attached to it.  Who would've thought that park would've been so crowded!  It took me 30 minutes to find a parking space, but the group was able to pass out over 100 water bottles, planting a seed in these people's lives in telling them who Jesus is.  My husband spent the entire day helping our friends with fixing up their house.  It was great to see the progress they've been making! Later that evening, that family came over for dinner..... Six energetic kids and 4 tired parents still end up having lots of laughs and fun!


Saturday was yet another interesting day.  We left the house around 9am and headed to the Zoo to meet up with "the boy" and we were able to spend a few hours walking around the park, eating a $54 not too tasty lunch and finishing up our time with him with some ice cream and milkshakes at Chick Fil A.  We got home in just enough time to change clothes and head out to a mission trip potluck dinner with the rest of the team and we got back home just after 9pm.


I consider us normally pretty normal people, with fairly uneventful lives.  We don't try to cram too much excitement into one day or one week.  It just seems that is how this past week worked out for us.  Boy, did we have fun!  We sure worked hard!  And we spent time with a bunch of wonderful people!

The Visit

Our family had an exciting and busy 36 hours this week as we traveled a few hours away to visit with the boy we are hoping to adopt.


Details will be few on this blog as we are still fairly early in this visitation process and we're not permitted to tell much.  


We had 3 separate visits over the 36 hours we were there.  We first went to a park nearby his house and kicked the soccer ball around, talked a little and played on the playground.  In all, it was about 2 hours together.  We then made plans to come back after dinner and take him swimming at the indoor pool at our hotel.  We ended up spending close to another 2 hours together that evening.


We were told he had some anxiety overnight, which was to be expected.  He was also very excited to see us.  We would ask him if we could visit again and he said yes each time.  So, the next day we took him to another park where we kicked the football and soccer ball around for a little and then played on a pretty cool playground for a few minutes.  It was getting hot and close to lunch so we decided to go to Chick Fil A to eat.  Then we headed indoors to a local museum.  We ended up spending about 4 hours with him that day.


He was much more quiet the second day than the first, but he seemed to have a good time from what we all could tell.  I know he's so conflicted.  He's having fun visiting with us but he loves his foster family.  We will have several more visits with him over the next few months but I still anticipate the transition will be difficult when that time comes.


I still have my moments of scared and overwhelmed.  Am I prepared to parent a child with special needs, even with him being high functioning?  When I find my mind racing with that thought, I tell myself several things.....


First, God called us to adopt and this is the child for us!  There was great interest in this little boy and we were the family that was chosen and that was not by mistake or chance.


Second, if one of my children was in an accident tomorrow and as a result had some intellectual disabilities, would I love them any less or decide not to parent them through adulthood if necessary?  NO, of course not!  So it is no different with this young boy.


And finally, I ask myself what my definition of "success" is for my children.  Would I only consider them successful if they went to a top college and had a successful career?  If so, I might want to rethink my definition.  How sad it would truly be if my child had worldly success but poor character.  So, ultimately, my idea of success for my children is that they follow after God with their whole hearts, doing what HE leads in their life!  Remembering that, it makes parenting a special needs child just as hard as it ever was, but gives that job a new meaning.


We continue to ask for your prayers as we visit, plan, prepare and transition over the next few months!

10 Days Passed....

I just realized it's been 10 days since I posted on this blog.....

Apparently my last post, titled "Overwhelmed" was fairly accurate.  Not once during those 10 days did I think of this blog.  I didn't wonder what I should write about and I certainly didn't make time on my calendar to write any posts......

We did get some things done in that 10 days, though.  We (meaning my husband) painted our son's room and then the kids switched rooms.  Now, the boys will have the larger room with the bunk beds and our daughter will have the smaller room and the loft bed.  (It's still strange to say "the boyS" since we haven't yet added that second boy to our family....but soon enough we will!)

I also finished the book I was reading on the Workbox System and am looking forward to incorporating that system with the new addition to our family.  I think it's going to be very helpful for all of us.... There are still lots of details to be worked out as far as finding out the things that work well with him for school, but thankfully we have the entire summer to figure that all out and I've got some wonderful friends in my Homeschool group who are ready to help me out in any way they can.

My husband and I spent 7 (yes, seven) hours running errands together one afternoon last week.  While that DOES count in my mind as a "date", I am still checking (and double checking) the calendar for a dinner date night before he goes on a mission trip with our son later this month.

I've spent time with friends this month too.  We had a young couple over for dinner last week and enjoyed getting to know them better.  The kids and I also spent time with a new friend and her young children over the weekend, enjoying our beautiful weather at a local park.

There are only 2 Sunday evening classes left in the Proverbs 31 class I'm taking with a friend at church.  Having studied this passage a few times before, I am continually surprised at how I think I know enough and yet I am learning more new things this time than the last time.  I'm thankful for our teacher and her in depth, yet practical way of teaching and how she gently challenges us in our roles as wife.

My biggest "issue" to deal with is technically not that big of a deal, yet still something I haven't quite mastered.  You'll probably roll your eyes when you see that I consider this a problem..... But we've reached the point in my husband's rotating shifts where his days off fall during the week.  That means when the kids are doing school, he's off.  When we're off on the weekends, he's working.  I know that's a fairly easy problem to have and I do understand that.  The problem we run into is that both kids are in high school level work and we just can't take off during the week and then make up the work on the weekends.  Sometimes we have the need to do that, but it doesn't work every time.  

So, over this past year that my husband has been back on rotating shifts, we've struggled through figuring out how to manage his part of the shift.  For the most part, we've fallen into a rhythm that is working, as long as I constantly remember to keep my big mouth shut!  I realized three times last week (all three times I realized too late!) that just because I can say something to my husband does not mean I should!  There's a time, a place, and a tone and I failed at all three of those, all three times!

So, just as it is hard for husbands to be gone traveling all week, or on a crazy work schedule, it is just as hard for him to be home for 4 days during the week.  Maybe one day I'll figure that out better.....although God is showing me ways I can improve.

** There should be a big blog post coming early next week with more adoption update information!

Overwhelmed....

It's already March?!

I can't believe time is moving so quickly....I don't know if it's the week I was sick, the fun we've been having with birthdays or what, but these past 2 months have just flown by!

There is SO MUCH to do in March that it's hard to wrap my mind around it.....  Start with regular life (shift work and all that entails) and homeschool, but add in preparing my husband and son for their first foreign mission trip the end of this month, hopefully at least 2 visits with the boy we are hoping to adopt, building a chicken coop (YES, we are hoping to get some chickens!), cleaning out the bonus room and figuring out what to do with it, painting and switching the kids rooms in preparation for a new brother's arrival, getting the garden up and running, and getting ideas for the upcoming homeschool year.

I am also working with a few new friends to support the wives in our husbands' department.  This is very interesting for me, as I fought against this lifestyle for so long.  But now I realize that I can use my experiences of what kind of wife NOT to be to encourage young wives in their marriages.

I realize that VERY soon I will have to make some changes in my schedule.....

• Getting up earlier (I don't get up too early now, so please don't be thinking I'm going to be up before the crack of dawn!) will give me more time in my day to get things done.  

• Taking some time to read some good books (I'm in the middle of 3 books right now- "Sue Patrick's Workbox System", "I Love a Cop" and "Authentic Spiritual Mentoring"- yes, a WIDE variety being read at the SAME time!) will help me to keep my focus on the various areas I am involved in. 

• Continuing with my women's Bible study on Proverbs 31 as well as my daily Bible reading will help me to remember to get my strength from God because I CAN'T do this on my own!

• Taking time for relationships- with my husband (date nights!), with my kids (even though we spend a LOT of time together, we still need to spend that time deliberately), with my friends (this is actually hard for me, not being a people person) and with my family (road trip? Maybe I can talk a certain sister into that?) is going to be so important.

I have been finding that putting my thoughts on "paper" (online paper, that is) helps me to be accountable.  I will soon blog about more specific plans for my schedule changes so that I can have a chance to actually DO what I say instead of just saying it to myself every day and failing at it again and again!

Surprise!

This month was my husband's 40th birthday and we celebrated in a variety of ways.

I had decided a few months prior that I wanted to surprise him in some way.  I knew he didn't want a party, which was fine with me because I really didn't want to organize and host a party.

What I came up with was a series of surprises throughout the month.  This included things like basketball tickets to a local, but major college (given to us for FREE from a long time friend, thank you!) as well as some of his favorite foods: a 12 pack of Coke Zero (we don't drink a lot of soda in our house), a bag of Doritos (we don't eat a lot of name brand chips around here either.  Sometimes when my husband is working nights, we'll treat ourselves to a bag of Doritos but the kids and I end up eating the whole bag and my husband gets nothing so we thought he'd appreciate getting his own bag as a gift!)

We also gave him 40 Hershey Kisses one day (I put them in his lunch bag so he could be surprised when he packed his lunch that morning) and another day we put a bag with 40 hearts it in and on each heart we wrote something we thought of when we think of him, such as "courageous", "provider", etc.

On his actual birthday, we met him for lunch at Chick fil A and brought a few delicious cupcakes that my daughter's friend made for us.  That night, we had a special dinner that my husband picked out: Beef and Chicken Kabobs, marinated and grilled with loaded baked potatoes and more cupcakes for dessert.  We gave him 3 presents: a MacArthur Study Bible (in large print cause he's 40!), an American Flag to replace the old one we had hanging outside, and a coffee mug with pictures of important people in his life.  

The biggest and best surprise occurred the next day.  My husband came home from work early, at my request, not suspecting a thing..... We already had the car packed and when we all got in we just told him to start driving.... It wasn't too long before we had to tell him where we were going.... We were headed to Charleston, SC to visit our good friends!  We love going to see them and my husband had been asking for months when we were going back.  I knew there was no where else he'd rather be than with his very good friend and his family to celebrate this big birthday!

I'm a bit tired from Thanksgiving, Christmas, both kids' birthdays, completing our Homestudy, having 2 interviews about children to potentially adopt, all the while planning and executing these birthday surprises.  But it was also a lot of fun and I love being with our friends in Charleston too, so it was all worth it!

On a side note, my husband does NOT have to feel that he has to compete with my surprises for my 40th birthday next year.  All I want is to go on vacation somewhere with my family!