The Visit

Our family had an exciting and busy 36 hours this week as we traveled a few hours away to visit with the boy we are hoping to adopt.


Details will be few on this blog as we are still fairly early in this visitation process and we're not permitted to tell much.  


We had 3 separate visits over the 36 hours we were there.  We first went to a park nearby his house and kicked the soccer ball around, talked a little and played on the playground.  In all, it was about 2 hours together.  We then made plans to come back after dinner and take him swimming at the indoor pool at our hotel.  We ended up spending close to another 2 hours together that evening.


We were told he had some anxiety overnight, which was to be expected.  He was also very excited to see us.  We would ask him if we could visit again and he said yes each time.  So, the next day we took him to another park where we kicked the football and soccer ball around for a little and then played on a pretty cool playground for a few minutes.  It was getting hot and close to lunch so we decided to go to Chick Fil A to eat.  Then we headed indoors to a local museum.  We ended up spending about 4 hours with him that day.


He was much more quiet the second day than the first, but he seemed to have a good time from what we all could tell.  I know he's so conflicted.  He's having fun visiting with us but he loves his foster family.  We will have several more visits with him over the next few months but I still anticipate the transition will be difficult when that time comes.


I still have my moments of scared and overwhelmed.  Am I prepared to parent a child with special needs, even with him being high functioning?  When I find my mind racing with that thought, I tell myself several things.....


First, God called us to adopt and this is the child for us!  There was great interest in this little boy and we were the family that was chosen and that was not by mistake or chance.


Second, if one of my children was in an accident tomorrow and as a result had some intellectual disabilities, would I love them any less or decide not to parent them through adulthood if necessary?  NO, of course not!  So it is no different with this young boy.


And finally, I ask myself what my definition of "success" is for my children.  Would I only consider them successful if they went to a top college and had a successful career?  If so, I might want to rethink my definition.  How sad it would truly be if my child had worldly success but poor character.  So, ultimately, my idea of success for my children is that they follow after God with their whole hearts, doing what HE leads in their life!  Remembering that, it makes parenting a special needs child just as hard as it ever was, but gives that job a new meaning.


We continue to ask for your prayers as we visit, plan, prepare and transition over the next few months!