I've been a LEOW (Law Enforcement Officer's Wife) for almost 16 years..... In some ways, it's gotten easier and in other ways it's still just as hard as the first day.
I have a few friends whose husbands are in the military and have been or are currently deployed. I admire them.....I sure couldn't live that life! I also have friends whose husband travel for their jobs- a LOT! I admire them as well because I don't think I could live that life either!
Sometimes I don't think I do that well living this schedule either. During his 16 year career, my husband worked 1 year in the courthouse (8-5 schedule....the good ole days!), 10 years on patrol (12 hour shifts- 4 days on, 4 days off, rotating days to nights) and 4 years in Investigations (Mon-Thurs 8-6, and on call every 6th week which was 3pm-midnight Mon-Fri....but in reality he was on call all the time, subject to staying late or going in whenever a major crime occurred). Now we're back to the rotating patrol shift for the last 9 months. Honestly, I haven't gotten back into the schedule as well as I'd hoped. We are still adjusting and some weeks are worse than others, mostly because of me! :(
But regardless of how hard I think this life is on ME, it's worse for him. He's the one working 12 (or more) hour shifts (one time he worked 24 hours straight without sleep on a murder investigation!), he's the one with the high level of stress, he's the one who sees the worst of the worst, and he's the one who is constantly on guard....even if we're out to dinner. He does a wonderful job of transitioning from work mode to home mode, but we can still tell when he's had a particularly stressful day, which seems to happen more lately now that he's a supervisor. I remember back when he was on patrol and he would get phone calls when he was off duty from people who had questions and we thought that was stressful. Then he was promoted to Investigations and after some time he commented that he didn't know what stress at work was until he started in that division. Now that he's a Sgt, it seems that he is under even more stress. His first shift as a Sgt on Patrol, he came home each night with a smile on his face. I loved seeing that smile and thought that maybe it would continue. It didn't.
I hate to complain (or do I?) about how "hard" my job at home is when I know how much harder his is. Sure, it's hard to run a household, homeschool 2 teenagers and keep up with a strange work schedule. But on the other hand, I don't have to wake up at 4:30 after barely getting 6 hours of sleep (or be awake 24 hours straight on the first night of shift), put on 20 lbs of gear including a bullet proof vest, work a 12 hour shift where you are the "bad guy" (even though you're really the good guy!) and are complained on for the silliest things.
Over his career, he has been assaulted several times, needed stitches in his knee, been involved in at least one shooting, had a man die in his arms, had 5 co-workers die (one from natural causes, 2 in on-the-job car accidents, one suicide and one murdered in the line of duty), seen many dead bodies, was cyber stalked (which was a bit scary since it involved me too!) and experienced more horrible things than I care to know about. He thankfully keeps so much from me. I think the hardest thing he's had to go through recently was the suicide of his Lt. Because he is such a thorough and level headed worker, he was asked to oversee the investigation. Even though he's seen dead bodies, there is something different about it when it's someone you've known for years and have worked closely with for 3. It was so hard for him and I wasn't able to do much since it happened when we were in the last week of hosting the orphans from Ukraine. Thankfully, he did talk about it with our friend/pastor and I know that helped him to get through a tough situation.
With this job and it's crazy schedule, he has missed birthdays, anniversaries, Thankgiving, Christmas.... He has missed church half of the time when he's worked the patrol schedule..... He has fallen asleep on the couch at 8pm and missed out on countless hours of sleep in order to not miss some family time.... He has worked off duty in places he'd rather not so that I can stay home and homeschool..... He has worked so much that he ended up in the ER and worked as much as 30 days in one month to provide for our family.
While it's a difficult job, a crazy schedule, and sometimes a challenging life, I can honestly say I wouldn't change it for anything. He is good at his job and despite all of the challenges he enjoys it. I don't think I could imagine him doing anything else. I just need to be more flexible and more creative in juggling the job, the house, homeschooling, the schedule and just life in general.
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