Disappointment....

We live a pretty easy life.  My husband has a job he loves & is good at, we have a home that is way more than we need and all 4 of us are healthy and have plenty of food to eat.  We have friends and family as well as a wonderful church.

That doesn't mean that we don't have our share of hard times or disappointments.  I don't want to linger on those times, but instead I just remind myself that God knows what is best in our lives.

For the past 3 months, my husband has been told by countless people at work that he was going to be transferred to another division.  This wasn't a request that he made, but it was good for his career and he was looking forward to it.  We talked a lot about how we shouldn't count on anything until we saw it in an email from the only person that mattered.  But I still thought about it often....

Oh, it was going to be nice... The schedule change... No more night shift... No more of my husband having to get up at 4:30am and falling asleep on the couch, exhausted, at 8pm... No more crazy dinner schedule- eating some days no later than 5pm, other days around 6:30pm, and still others days closer to 7:30pm, with every 6 weeks having the chance of eating our dinner at 1pm...

We be able to have a better chance of eating dinner close to 6pm every night... As a planner, I was very excited about that!

There would be less danger... Sitting at a desk downtown has got to be less risky than answering calls out in the field and having a target on your back wherever you go while on shift!

We'd have weekends together... We'd be like a "normal" family, able to plan fun things to do on Saturdays and going to church together every Sunday!

Even though he was assured that this change was going to happen, it turns out it's not going to.  

In the grand scheme of things, this disappointment is truly nothing and I know that.  I know that life moves on and we will continue to live this crazy schedule and we will be just fine.

But it still makes me a bit sad and that's ok too.  When I am disappointed I can remember that my plans are just that.... my plans... They are not God's plans!  I need to hold loosely to my plans and realize that God did not allow that transfer for a reason.  We may never know that reason and that is fine too. 

I actually think I'm more disappointed than my husband is.  We've had all of 2 minutes to talk about it...because of his schedule!  He's disappointed, but in his steady nature he says you just move on with life.  He'll continue to do his job well, he'll continue to be exhausted and he'll continue to do whatever he needs to do to provide for our family.

So in the end, it's not so much of a disappointment.  It's just our abnormally normal life!